i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
