Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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