I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Are my feet made of real feet?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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