We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
