Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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