he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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