so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
