And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
