In the future we'll all be gay
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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