How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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