VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
