So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
