new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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