I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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