I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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