Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
