do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
