This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
