And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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