No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
