i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
