so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
