You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
