It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
