i think my tv is drunk
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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