when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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