sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
