I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
