they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
