You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I have post one night stand depression
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
