Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If I die, sorry about rent.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
