well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
