I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
