You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
