I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
