but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
