I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
