I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
