Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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