Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
