Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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