You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
