I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am naked and annoyed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
