his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
