I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
soo... how was my night?
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