i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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