how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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