There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
