I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
