Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize