My liver just broke up with me...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I intend to get homeless drunk
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
