I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
