She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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