Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
