If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
