You're completely useless in the revolution.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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