Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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