he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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