Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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