she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize