Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
