I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
