I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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