I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
