You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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